Author: gazizoff

We all have trauma in our past.

Some are monumental and seemingly insurmountable. Others may seem minor by comparison. But they are there. They exist.

And the world is waking up to our individual traumas as the year-long pandemic has thrown a spotlight on issues relating to trauma, mental health, and emotional healing.

I am not immune to this. Hopefully, neither are you. We are all due for an emotional reckoning.

“There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.” ~Laurell K. Hamilton

Historical traumas – those based on geographic, cultural, social, gender, and/or familial influences – are well known and collect the most attention. We acknowledge them. We study them. We collectively try and learn from them.

But our personal traumas? Those near and dear and feared within our own life experience exist just below the surface whether we recognize them or not.

Are they known? Forgotten? Resolved? Suppressed?

Now, you may be thinking “Trauma? Me? Nah, I’m good”, and that might be true. I don’t know you and can’t speak to your past experience.

However, it’s very likely your motivations, aspirations, behavior, emotional capacity, embodiment, and ability to feel rather than rationalize are all predicated on and a response to your traumas. Whether you know it or not.

You may be ‘good;, whatever that means. But as Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living. Your ‘good’ may be a temporary refuge. Your entire ‘good’ life may be a defence mechanism against life itself.

You need to question and examine in order to heal.

We Are All Victims of Trauma

The world is waking to the realization that we are all beautiful expressions of human beings who have experienced different variations of trauma.

Even better, we are warming to the idea that there is strength and power in exploring them. Understanding them. Feeling them.

The more we appreciate our traumas, the more we can recognize the compromises and responses we’ve had to life as a result.

And that goes for you, me, everyone. Every. Living. Being.

Is it a requirement of living to examine and revisit that past suffering and damage? No. You don’t have to go there. You don’t have to look back. Not now, not ever.

But there is enormous opportunity in doing so, despite the difficulty and risk.

A Helping Hand

There is strength in appreciating our own limitations.

As you embark on this journey of discovery, you don’t need a coach or psychedelic to get there, but they can be valuable tools.

Choosing to start with credible support can reduce or eliminate taking any shortcuts on the path. It can facilitate the development of your own internal tools for self-understanding, identifying trauma, wants, needs, and self-awareness.

I am not a professional psychotherapist, but I am a human walking my own path. My own journey. I am here with my words and intention. I choose to share my voyage and invite reflections so that others may see themselves – or parts of themselves – in what I am doing.

To ignite that spark of possibility and curiosity in your own life and past trauma.

We are all at different stages on the path. Some are near the beginning, others have reached the midpoint, and some are almost at the finish line.

And there are those who have not yet taken that first step. That’s okay. We all get there when we get there.

Be kind and loving to yourself. Be supportive, considerate, and understanding of others.

“If you never heal from what hurt you, then you’ll bleed on people who did not cut you.” ~Karen Salmansohn

Your past may sculpt your present & your future, but it does not define it; you do.

Let’s all walk the path together.

Me; you.

Us; them.

Them; other.

Here; there.

Now; not now.

Yang; yin.

Agree; disagree.

Man; woman.

These recent elections that happened in the US reiterated the system that we exist in that can divide. That can invite feels of neglect. That can make groups feel ostracized. That seeks to dismiss other.

Opposition exists in natural states. Our mind is wired for this. The challenge is when opposition leads to a separation that creates a conditional divide, one that benefits one at the expense of another, or disadvantages one or all in some way.

Why Porsche vs Tesla? Why can’t it be Porsche with Tesla? Why must there be feminism & Women Rights to REclaim equality? How many people are met by some conditioning or prejudice that makes them be seen as different? What did those people choose? To be a certain gender or race or born in a secure or challenged family, low, normal or exuberant socioeconomics or a ‘1st World’ or 3rd world country? The differentiation of self from other runs deep & it’s exacerbation is largely rooted in unawareness.

Because camaraderie exists naturally in social creatures. We are better together. We survive & coexist better. Yes, competition also naturally exists, but only when there is something that one or both parties are lead or threatened by, usually experiential life wounds being projected or survival. The result is actions, ideologies, beliefs, divide, uncertainty, concerns, distrust among one another..

Of the same species. Same organs, same body systems for life, fears & concerns for basic human needs. If any feels threatened in some way, they, again, from the same species, no different from the other, sees the other as different in some way, & acts on behalf of that. The separation reaffirms itself, or can widen, even exponentially. The reason for seeing the other as anything other than a fellow human being can get more unclear. This can extend in time, indefinitely.

How many people must bear the brunt of this, or suffer the consequences of this separation and for how much longer is acceptable for the World to exist, for us to act in a way that doesn’t give every human the permission to be their fullest human being expression in a nonmalicious  harmonious way that honours eveeyone else, too? I understand how a species who only knows divide and is constantly bombarded with reminders of it daily could ever believe any other way. But if we want to coexist in a World where all human beings are seen as an equal, a human equal, not to be mistaken with the value associated to them by their societal consumption or contribution, the bridge to interconnected non-separation starts with ourselves as the bridge that owns up.

If you’re reading this, your responsibility lies in first seeing where you create separation in this World. With yourself and within yourself. With others. With the community. With Earth.

With.

Death is one of life’s greatest teachers.

As an emergency medicine physician, I see it almost daily. The patient, as human as I am and as human as you are, that is fighting for their life, whether it’s a trauma or a heart attack or a blood clot or  cancer and they have a consciousness that’s deteriorating rapidly, they fight to survive. Nothing else matters in this moment but survival. Of this event. Of this moment. Of this incident. Of this tragedy. It’s incredible to witness the system mobilizing every resource in order to sustain life. There’s a moment prior to their passing where you feel the patient shift into relinquishing  the battle, maybe even acceptance. Many don’t make it through.

But some don’t. Some survive. Some regain a completely normal capacity to live. Yet, if you were to ask them, as I often do, their lives are completely shifted. Their perception of the world, what they value, their life, shifts. Everything is put back into question. This is where you see many smokers quit cold turkey, or someone never touch a drink again, or a commitment to exercise ensues. They see love and the way they want to conduct their lives differently. Quality of connections are more profound. The food tastes better. In short, they reclaim an appreciation for life, one that they may have not had before.

This is important to acknowledge. Post-traumatic growth is substantial and incredibly potent. It’s great at shaking off the things that weren’t necessarily important to us, but that we spent time on things that we perceived to be important, but actually wasn’t when put to swear under oath to ourselves whether it was or wasn’t.

Is that what it takes for us to change? Will you require the imminence of a deep struggle or even  death to come to have those perspective shifts that may be seen as difficult, but  would be so incredibly clear in confronting your mortality, impermanence, imminent death, beyond it’s ability to have you think, see or act; you know. If you do, something beautiful happens; clarity & epiphanies surge through. Suddenly, life seems so simple to do correctly. You redefine your life, you write your script, you seize the day.

This is a beautiful place for us all to arrive. It can be achieved, too, in recognizing and remembering a stark liberating truth, we all die. Living life with this in mind has two things occur, either you expose yourself for the deep fear of death that you have, unknowingly fearful of this death robs you of the experience of your life and may even render you apathetic, numb from the refusal of the pain that it inflicts, or your acceptance and acknowledgement of your impermanence has you embracing your life gently, assertively, playfully, more community oriented and welcoming, knowing you walk among future dead people, too. Ah, death, the great teacher, the illuminator, the reminder.

An elder from the Lakota Sioux once said, “Hoka hey!”, today is a good day to die. He understood that the key to embracing life’s journey is in coming to terms with the finish line. That finish line can come at any point for anyone of us. The next breath isn’t guaranteed to anyone.

Claim your day, claim your life, claim your play, claim your way.

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Edited

Why Not Live Each Day as if it’s Your Last?

Death is one of life’s greatest teachers.

That may seem counterintuitive, but it’s a cornerstone of religion and philosophy around the world and throughout human history: we can discover a lot about living by paying more attention to dying.

And as an emergency medicine physician, I see it almost daily.

It’s very easy to disassociate from a dying patient or victim of tragedy. In fact, it’s a coping mechanism. But they are as human as me or you.

Truth be told, they might even be more so. Whether it’s trauma or a heart attack or a blood clot or cancer or whatever else that is threatening their very existence, they are fighting for their life. With a rapidly deteriorating consciousness, they are still fighting to survive.

Nothing else matters in that moment but survival.

It’s incredible to witness the system mobilizing every resource in order to sustain life. There’s this moment — just prior to their passing — where you can actually feel the patient shift into relinquishing the battle, maybe even acceptance of the impending defeat. When the struggle is lost, the body and mind know it.

Many don’t make it through a life-threatening event or illness.

But some do.

The Will to Live

Some regain a completely normal capacity to live. Yet if you were to ask them, as I often do, their lives are completely altered.

Their perception of the world, their values, their priorities — everything — shifts. Nothing is taken for granted anymore and everything is put back into question.

This is where you might see heavy smokers quit cold turkey, a renewed commitment to exercise, or a drinker never touch a drop again.

They see love and the way they want to conduct their lives differently. Quality of connections are more profound. The food tastes better. The air smells sweeter.

It may sound cliché, but they reclaim an appreciation for life that they may not have had before.

This is important to acknowledge. Post-traumatic growth is substantial and incredibly potent. It’s great at shaking off those things that may have seemed important but fall by the wayside when looked at through a different lens.

But why do we have to wait for a near-death experience to change our point-of-view?

The Power to Change

Why do we “need” a difficult struggle, death of a loved one, or life-threatening moment to have those perspective shifts?

It all seems so incredibly clear when confronting our own mortality. But here’s the thing: we don’t need to be literally staring death in the face for it to happen. Why? Because we all die. It’s the one stark liberating truth.

Know that, accept that, and something beautiful happens: clarity & epiphanies surge through. Life suddenly seems so simple to do correctly.

You can redefine your life, you can rewrite your script, you can seize the day. Right now. At this moment.

Try journaling about your last day of life. Go into as much detail as possible. What would you do? How would you feel? Who would you want there beside you?

In doing so, you can quickly see in black and white what’s important to you in death so that you can prioritize those things in life.

Take a close look. You either: A. Expose a deep fear of death — potentially making you apathetic and numb — that prevents you from living your life to the fullest, or

B. Realize that acceptance of your impermanence allows you to gently, assertively, and playfully embrace your life.

Take comfort in walking amongst the future dead. None of us can choose how and when we die, but all of us can choose how we live. So make your choice.

An elder from the Lakota Sioux once said “Hoka hey!”, today is a good day to die. He understood that the key to embracing life’s journey is in coming to terms with the finish line.

And that finish line can come at any time for any one of us. The next day — the next breath — isn’t guaranteed.

So claim your day, claim your play, claim your way.

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Edit 2

A Key To Embracing Life Is In Acknowledging The Finish Line

Death. One of life’s greatest teachers. Also, life’s final frontier; that’s arguable by many. Verifiable by none. Being clinically dead  by the standards of a medical system and returning invokes the person returning to life explaining a deep sense of calm. I theorize that in the moments that the body and the system accepts death, the ego, a system that’s beautifully adapted and evolved for survival ‘concedes’ that fight, making space for surrender and acceptance.

I see it in the ER. The patient, as human as I am and as human as you are, that is fighting for their life, whether it’s a trauma or a heart attack or a blood clot or  cancer and they have a consciousness that’s deteriorating rapidly, they fight to survive. Nothing else  matters in this moment but survival. Of this event. Of this moment. Of this incident. Of this tragedy. It’s incredible to witness the system mobilizing every resource in order to sustain life. Many don’t make it through. There’s a moment prior to their passing where you feel the patient shift into relinquishing  the battle, maybe even acceptance. They confront the story that they associate with that final life frontier.

But some don’t. Some survive. Some regain a completely normal capacity to live. Yet, if you were to ask them, as I often do, their lives are completely shifted. Their perception of the world, what they value, their life, shifts. Everything is put back into question. This is where you see many smokers quit cold turkey, or someone never touch a drink again, or a commitment to exercise ensues. They see love and the way they want to conduct their lives differently. Quality of connections are more profound. In short, they reclaim an appreciation for life, one that they may have not had before.

This is important to acknowledge. Post-traumatic growth is substantial and incredibly potent. It’s great at shaking off the things that weren’t necessarily important to us, but that we spent time on things that we perceived to be important, but actually wasn’t when put to swear under oath to ourselves whether it was or wasn’t.

Is that what it takes for us to change? Will you require the imminence of a deep struggle or even  death to come to have those perspective shifts that may be seen as difficult, but  would be so incredibly clear in confronting your mortality, impermanence, imminent death, beyond it’s ability to have you think, see or act; you know. If you do, something beautiful happens; clarity & epiphanies surge through. Suddenly, life seems so simple to do correctly. You redefine your life, you write your script, you seize the day.

This is a beautiful place for us all to arrive. It can be achieved, too, in recognizing and remembering a stark liberating truth, we all die. Living life with this in mind has 2 things occur, either you expose yourself for the deep fear of death that you have, unknowingly fearful of this death robs you of the experience of your life and may even render you apathetic, numb from the refusal of the pain that it inflicts, or your acceptance and acknowledgement of your impermanence has you embracing your life gently, assertively, playfully, more community oriented and welcoming, knowing you walk among future dead people, too. Ah, death, the great teacher, the illuminator, the reminder.

An elder from the Lakota Sioux once said, “Hoka hey!”, today is a good day to die. He understood that the key to embracing life’s journey is in coming to terms with the finish line. That finish line can come at any point for anyone of us. The next breath isn’t guaranteed to anyone.

Claim your day, claim your life, claim your play, claim your way.

Sleep: A Nuisance of Necessity

When we come to this World, we are spending close to 80% of our days sleeping. Having spent those 40 weeks in a floating habitat, we are primed for a nurturing environment to rest, replenish, dream, and process that which we consume. Not just food or drinks, but experiences, reflections, thoughts, concerns.

As we become young adolescents, teenagers and adults, our sleep progressively reduces to 25–35% of our lives. Some of that reduction is owed to the fact that we require less. Our body understands and realizes that in order to survive, our capacity to remain awake and meet daily living needs for hunting, gathering, and the like, must occur. Still, sleep remains a necessity.

Some benefits of sleep include:

• Recuperation. Internal body and mental systems get a break. The reduced functions allow them to ‘relax’ having reduced metabolic demand. Any injuries, large or small, wear and tear, twinges, strains, exertions, undergo the body’s own addressing. Energy reserves can replenish.
• Integration. Life experiences, new on pause, have an opportunity to be ‘digested’. Experience > Digest > Integrate. Coming to understanding, greater memory processing and consolidation, clarity, dreams with the possibility of interpretation.
• Physical alleviation. The strains of gravity on our vertical stance exert forces that our evolution has us adapted to, which has many advantages, but is not optimized for. By going horizontal, we give an opportunity for systems to alleviate, like the vasculature which is pumping and circulating blood against gravity. Our bones and joints get a break. Our spine can restore its optimal curvature to the best of its ability (especially when supported by adequate mattresses; it is so important to treat yourself with this!).
• Revitalization. Creating a space between the days and time before can invite a sense of renewal. Appreciation for a new day can flood our system, especially when we sleep and wake closer to our circadian rhythms and the presence of a crisp temperature and sun that invites our skin and our eyes to the new day.

There are certain living beings that evolutionarily adapted to have simultaneous sleep and wake states, like dolphins. A predator can come at any point, and so, in their restful recuperation, a vigilance must persist. There are few living beings who can live for long periods without rest. When they don’t, their system starts compensating. Some of the systems are down-regulated inefficiency, prioritizing other systems.

For us to deny sleep, there must be a reason our biology says. It will work with us, but in almost direct proportion to the necessity for sleep, the body will begin signaling its demands for it. Memory lapses, attention shifts, concentration inhibits, information processing fragments, fatigue of muscles is more rapid, a slouch in the body is preservative to one’s energy. On an internal level, stress hormones are upregulated. It can have a net strain on the cardiovasculature, including blood pressure and the heart.

There is a genetically recessive gene that causes a condition called Familial Terminal Insomnia Syndrome. Once afflicted by this, people die within 1 to 2 years. They do not respond to medications. The military has done studies on this. In addition to that which was observed above, volunteers who were asked to remain awake for 3+ days began hallucinating, some temporarily going into altered states of short-lived psychosis.

We don’t need to go to multiple days of sleeplessness in order to start making contact with the altered states that prolonged sleep deprivation provides. Depersonalization, derealization, difficulty focusing, light sensitivity, and emotional fluctuations occur. All things that are relatively not present in sleep begin overlapping with our ‘awake and resisting sleep’ state. We benefit from listening and working with our body, mind, and health to have needs met. Especially sleep, which is a paramount determinant of our quality and state of experiencing non-sleep, awakeness.

‘Thankfully’, society has the ‘solutions’ to support this.

Coffee, energy drinks, smoking, energy pills, medications, technology, light therapy, music, movements… to override the signals of the body and our own innate awareness of when to sleep. With technological advancements, cities that don’t sleep and increased societal demands influencing our vocational, familial, and educational obligations, people are increasingly reaching for this. In addition, we are having our sleep hijacked, deferred, or neglected as a result of outings, video, and computer games, 24-hour financial markets, parties, substances, working extended hours or two or more jobs to make ends meet, distractions like the cellphone which can derail efficacy around needs we have in places that include domestic responsibilities. It’s not just the length of sleep, but the quality of it. The sleep available time versus sleep actual time differ, too.

In the ER, when I ask people if they are tired, they say,

“Almost always, but that’s pretty normal. I’m used to it.”

This response isn’t rare; it is socially widespread. There is a tendency towards its normalization and the lack of prioritization is systemic. And so, the solutions are reached for. Some choose coffee just for the sheer pleasure of drinking it. However, many use it not just for added vigilance, stimulation, and flavor, but to reduce the fatigue and the call to sleep that their bodies are expressing.

Same with the cellphone. ‘Cocaine for the mind’. At least, some of the same stimulatory neurotransmitters are activated. The dopamine reward pathway looks no different on fMRI vs. cocaine. The phone (or tablets) are inherently tools for communication and many other functions, however, the utilization is to alleviate ‘boredom’. But when you observe a human, they have a tendency towards reaching for it to ‘fill the space’. Those are often the moments where there is breakthrough awareness of fatigue signaling with the simultaneous sensations associated with the withdrawal of experience or new stimulus. The phone fills that ‘void’, hijacks the signaling until, it too, exhausts itself from its capacity to do so.

I have written about some of the challenges we face with sleeping given the fact that more than 30% of people admit to checking their phone before sleeping. What that contributes to is persistent low-grade fatigue, accompanied by an apathetic face, expressionless, and minimally fluctuant emotions ensue. Presence-lacking engagement. Disconnected to World and connected through technology.

“I may be tired, but I don’t have to feel it when I’m engaged.”,

says our internal process of engagement bathing in dopamine to a body and mind screaming for a break, rest, and possibly sleep. A person isn’t doing that by choice, they are hardly conscious of this. It is unconsciously effective and they are reduced to it by energy preservative necessity.

How many times have you physically been somewhere but mentally checked out as a result of that fatigue? Reaching for these ‘solutions’ to fatigue have an individual-unique capacity to be tolerated before fatigue must be acknowledged and slumber prioritized again. Sadly, if many are on this path of not listening and addressing the needs of sleep that our body and mind ask for, burnout and profound fatigue are the final signals that send them to rest.

The sheer inability to go on. Is that what it takes? For the vast majority, yes. Humans have a propensity to avoid making changes, even those in favor of their health until they are obligated to. When ‘what works’ no longer does.

I am no different. I am not above this. I struggle to adequately sleep. Many studies show the challenges of shift workers and the benefits of the regularity of sleep schedules. Night shift work is actually classified as a carcinogen! I have an Oura ring that tracks among things, my sleep cycles. My scores are rarely above 80% for their overall scores. I have a powerfully convincing list of excuses that are very reasonable, too. For example, the ER is not friendly when many of my shifts are afternoon, evening, or overnight. The acknowledgment of this can have me embracing it differently, less resistant to the unconscious signaling in fatigue that yearns for recuperative sleep. My best solution is NOT WORKING AROUND it, it’s WORKING WITH it; actually listening!

If I can set a plan and optimize my life to prioritize my sleep, I am honoring my body, as can you too. You are adaptable. If you are finding difficulty putting this at the top of your priorities, my personal ultimate incentive for better sleep may invite you to reflect upon it and I’ll share it with you: presence. To be able to be where I am, as available to the moment, engaged with the activity with no coping, no overriding of signals from my body. Feeling life then and there, listening to my body, going to sleep feeling an embrace of the fatigue, and waking to the revitalized recuperative sense of self that ensues from a restorative night of sleep.

Sleep is the great integrator of life. It can be optimized through prioritization, minimizing distractions, regular purposeful physical activity, the greater time between last meals, and the addressing of anything that can hinder the mind from slowing down in the evening prior to sleep. The experience of stress, life concerns, and anxiety can hinder sleep and when sleep is hindered, the capacity for addressing those very things gets very difficult. Sleep pills are not an alternative, but they are a decent bridge to consider if you are having difficulty sleeping. Like alcohol, consider them as sedatives, rather than sleeping pills.

This epidemic of sleep deprivation and the hindrance of the quality of it is an individual as much as a societal thing that requires being addressed. With products like smart rings and smart beds leveraging technology to support our sleep, like Eightsleep, they still require our engagement and benefit most from our commitment to supporting ourselves. As is the case most often, you are your own solution.

Please, today reevaluate your sleep, your sense of restfulness, levels of energy throughout the day, distractions, and ‘energy solutions’ if you have fatigue. Consult your health care provider should you feel support is needed. If you snore, consider a sleep study to examine among things, if you have sleep apnea, which has its own health implications.

And of course, naps are great! 20-minute naps are very healthy, and if you find yourself napping for 1–2 hours, there’s a likelihood that your body and mind are needing more regular restorative sleep.

So, are you feeling tired?

Humans – just like chimps, gorillas, dolphins, and most other intelligent animals – are social by nature.
Camaraderie and cooperation naturally exist in social creatures. We are better together. We not only survive but thrive together. Through thousands of generations, we have learned that we are greater than the sum of our parts.
Sure, competition also naturally exists, but usually only when there are not enough resources to go around, or when one group has exclusive access to something the other wants.
But it’s not our default program.
Creatures of the same species share the same organs, body systems, fears, and necessities for survival. As the saying goes, there is much more that unites us than divides us.
But this tendency towards separation by any means plagues us like no other. When we see others as different in some real or perceived way, we act accordingly.
As a result, that separation increases and widens exponentially. Our own confirmation bias – favoring and interpreting information that verifies our belief in their “differences” – begins to feed itself until the thought of seeing “them” as the same as “us” is incomprehensible.
How much longer can we exist as a species trapped in that cycle? How much longer will we allow it?
The Covid-19 pandemic has shown us how dependent we are on each other for survival: no matter how much you stay home, or wash your hands, or wear a mask, or get your vaccinations, it’s ultimately meaningless if others don’t follow suit.
You can do everything right and still get sick because your neighbors did not fulfill their end of the social contract.
It’s never easy to shift a long-held narrative or belief. We know mostly divide and are constantly bombarded with reminders of it.
But if we want to exist in a world where all humans are seen as equal regardless of their consumption or contribution-associated value, it starts with the singular “us”.
All of us. There is no them. There is no other.
We are all connected by our shared separation from one or more groups.
It is your responsibility to first identify where you create separation in this world, and then eliminate it. Within yourself. Within others. Within the community. And within the globe.

“A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. They experience themselves, their thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of their consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.” ― Albert Einstein (modified to a gender neutral quote)

Compassion is part of the bedrock of what makes us human.

Compassion, from the Latin compati meaning **‘to suffer with’, is something that we, as individuals, both appreciate when we receive and strive to maintain the capacity to feel it and express it. How compassionate do you feel as of late? Towards what specifically? Are they causes or individuals or groups that matter to you? Is it something that you were exposed to and felt powerless or powerful to support. If so, how long did it last? What did the experience of compassion invoke within you? A change that ignited growth or some form of despair? Maybe even ‘cancelling it’.

Compassion is a valuable and essential quality that is necessary in a community of individuals living amongst one another. (Differences among one another should not mitigate or hinder the capacity to express it to another. Recognize the difference between benign difference and potential threat due to that or those differences). Compassion is also incredibly potent when we develop the capacity to Express press it and feel it within ourselves, to ourselves. When this isn’t present, the neutral states can often shift into shaming rather than compassionate understanding. When compassion isn’t tapped into in a moment where the opportunity presents itself, it can also result in progressive indifference. But why? It has to do with compassion fatigue. Something that is innately within us loses its capacity to be felt, let alone expressed, as a result of getting tired from having to express it. It’s actually a condition, too. Specifically, it is characterized by emotional and physical exhaustion leading to a diminished ability to empathize or feel that very compassion.

People who experience compassion fatigue may exhibit a variety of symptoms including lowered concentration, numbness or feelings of helplessness, irritability, lack of self-satisfaction, withdrawal, aches and pains, or work absenteeism. Does this sound familiar in any way to you? Do you notice this around you?

One of the major contributors to it is the environment that we exist in. Your vocation, especially if it requires the experiencing of many people who are challenged by something, an incorrectly charged bill, a broken appliance, an incorrect eviction, or at risk of atrocities, near death, or have died, are at higher risk. Almost every industry has the potential to experience it. A paramedic who has 20 calls in a day, 4 of which are life threatening, compounded over time, may lose their ability to feel the urgency, depth of meaning or importance, though they may know it, by the sheer fact that our energy bandwidth cannot sustain it. And so, as a preservation mechanism meant to support the individual, less compassion is available, and it is only expressed in certain scenarios, if any. Not only does the burden of loss of capacity to express compassion affect the potential moment where it’s required, but it has a high tendency of spilling into other domains or facets of one’s life.

Compassion fatigue is widespread in society because our media saturates content, news and shows with decontextualized images and stories of tragedy, shock, atrocities, violence, heartbreak & suffering. The accessibility of it at our fingers doesn’t do anyone any favours, as the acquired ‘dopamine and adrenaline’ hit from these specific exposures drives us to experience it. But because we are separate from the actual capacity to act or do, a feeling may change, but the inaction leads the experience to being more entertainment than informative or guiding for life. This inadvertently causes progressive desensitization of individuals and groups from our basic human capacity and robs us of the ability to utilize the important tool of reciprocity and support that is found in compassion.

How is this corrected? How is this reclaimed? We need compassion to be ever present. In the moments that it can be sustained, recuperation needs to be present in the setting that it challenges itself from being there. Most importantly, the individual or groups must recognize when they themselves are becoming compassionately fatigued. There, minimizing exposures of new allows for some space to reenergize, resolve, and get clear on things that may have stacked up. Being mindful of social media and all media exposures is important, too. Cutting any source of media that captures tragedy, shock, atrocities, violence, heartbreak & suffering is worthy of taking a break from. If it’s your line of work, taking an absence or having the system set into place support with the consideration of reevaluation to continue is important: no industry should normalize compassion fatigue as a prerequisite to employment. This is especially true when they are made aware that the individuals in that setting are experiencing it and the subsequent side effects and symptoms associated.

When a person sees and is reminded of the importance of being able to feel and express compassion organically, it is inevitable for them to desire recapturing it, provided they are safe to do so. Our system is only capable of taking on so much high energy, high burden, high concern, high distress, before it becomes more conservative. Compassion is one of the many qualities that are hindered in this, and it’s important for us to remember this.

A society that expresses compassion hurts one another less, intentionally or unintentionally. A society that expresses compassion supports and feels more supported. Everyone has a greater opportunity of being understood for why they did something that others may deem ‘unsocietal’ like a crime, too. A society that expresses compassion develops important tools for listening to self and listening to one another about qualities and experiences of our lives that can be challenging, ultimately feeling less alone, especially in our times of need or ie: fear of/ near death.

One more time, compassion is part of the bedrock of what makes us human. Lest we not forget that; because we have for a while.

The Philosophy That Must Be Entrenched In Mental Health Startups

All Parts Of You

A company that is dedicated to the wellness, health healing and betterment of an individual’s mental health, went public this past week. I am honoured and grateful to be a part of that company, that team, and I especially find the company motto to be one of profound philosophical reflection.

The Company Motto is:

Solutions that empower you to take control of your mental wellness for a brighter future. Our purpose is to strengthen the relationship between nature and technology to help you restore balance in your life.

Let’s break this down to understand it better. The depth of importance cannot be understated.

‘Solutions that empower you’.

A solution, something that resolves; alleviates. Solutions of the mind and mental health are often those changes in behaviours, perspective, actions, intentions, internal understandings reactions and responses, who’s capacity already exists within you. Said another way, you are the most potent solution to your own mental health needs and mental wellness support. Solutions that are available outside yourself are powerful adjuncts, sources of support, but they are best served when they compliment your own capacity, and they create a bridge that doesn’t exhaust our own mental health further, nor only provide short term benefit that can ultimately hinder long term. Mental health benefits from the best of both. Technologies are incredible tools to support our mental health, but if they end up benefiting parts of us, while harming others, its net benefit is mitigated. We are mindful of this and we are adapting & creating alongside your biology.

‘Taking control of your mental wellness’.

An important step in ‘taking control’ of your mental health is in acknowledging, understanding and working to reclaim what is currently controlling your mental health and mental wellness. The evaluation of what both transpires & causes your mental health to feel out of control. Many external factors can have an impact on sense of self. In many cases, it’s understandable. A grievance, a separation, a failure, a famine, unpaid bills, civil, social and global atrocities, injustices lost… However, as Viktor Frankl famously said in Man’s Search For Meaning “ Everything can be taken from a [hu]man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

Mental health can be a result of or a chosen response to. Think about that for a moment. Your mental health and wellness can be taken back progressively more into your control as you choose to understand it more, choose what challenges, obstacles and aspects of it help or hinder the direction you want to be directing yourself towards. With dedication and understanding, much of of the weight can be progressively alleviated, leaving you more open to even choosing how think, feel and act, all of which have a direct and indirect impact on your mental health. Since control can, itself, be a hindrance to mental health, some of the deepest levels of having with your mental health in your favour stems from relinquishing control, rather than taking it.

‘A brighter future’.

A brighter future can be seen as many things, depending on who is being asked. For us, brighter means less resistance, more on your terms, greater opportunities and abilities. In the face of challenges, greater capacity to navigate and with greater resilience. As this future arrives and becomes the present, you are more capable of being present to it. Your perception of future is not one that is dismal or avoided. You feel purposeful as you do what you are doing. You feel at relative peace and in confidence, appreciation and gratitude for who you are and who you are becoming. your mental health reflects and reiterates this.

‘Strengthen the relationship between nature and technology’.

Many of the industries in the market sell a belief that technology can outsmart nature. Very often, and unfortunately, technology is leveraged against our nature to create a belief that without it, you are missing out; short of your potential. In addition, when these technologies are utilized, in their benefit for you, can often be to the detriment of your physiology, psychology and sense of being.

The best approach now incorporates technology that harnesses, works with, and certainly doesn’t work against one’s nature. Understanding your nature allows less necessity for any other technology in the first place. We strengthen our nature and our capacity to navigate aspects of our lives through its fusion. Technology is never a replacement for your nature. As Nassim Nicholas Taleb says “Non-nature needs to prove itself against nature’. We take that further in saying that non-nature needs to demonstrate itself to not be against nature in addition to proving itself against nature when given the choice of nature vs non-nature.

“Non-nature needs to prove itself against nature’ — Nassem Nicholas Taleb

‘Help you restore balance in your life’.

Restoration represents the reclamation of aspects of your life that may have become less or no longer available. Removing barriers to mental health and wellness are often the most important approaches to that restoration of balance. Reconnection to yourself. Through the processes, invitations and the variety of approaches that are available within the team and an ever-expanding network of individuals and technologies, the support with solutions will ultimately, and inevitable empower the individual and groups to achieve what they set their hearts and minds to, and doing so while minimizing avoidance, neglect or damage to other parts of themselves or others. When you are in greater balance, in the times where you are required to lean into certain parts of yourself either by choice or circumstance, it takes less of a toll and energy to come back to your centre.

And so, the opportunity is met with the importance of responsibility that we as individuals first have to take action on ensuring our mental health and wellness is being acknowledged, understood & supported. We feel that it is non only essential, but intrinsically available to every human being. We are a part of the discussion, solutions and support for this.

The demands of society and a long history of mental health stigma, neglect or lack of acknowledgement puts this at the forefront as we continue on our rapid evolutionary path as living beings capable of thinking our life outside of the confines of what is naturally innate to us for reproduction and survival.

The complicated system outside of us in the World and within us can be more effectively navigated and harnessed, and here, at Nurosene, I’m certain we are achieving this. With you and in support of you.